Inside Voice Outside Voice

inside voice outside voiceIs Your Inside Voice All In Your Head?

You hear it all the time.  It’s that inside voice that tells you you are no good or at least not good enough.

Other people have told you too, and guess what, you probably believed them.  In fact, the inside voice that tells you that you are not good enough probably started with someone – a trusted adult (parent/teacher/relative) or peer (friend/sibling/classmate) – telling you early in life that your voice was no good, at least not for singing.

The conclusion came without you even thinking about it:  “I am no good” or “my voice is no good.”  And the next judgment that hit you smack in the face became “I am a failure and there is no hope for me for ever singing like a “normal” person.”

I hear it all the time.  I hear it so often that I decided to write about it and here is why.

That inside voice has been my inside voice too.  I got the message early in life the same way you did.  Perhaps not about music but about other things, like “you have no self-control” or “you are just a dreamer who is not in touch with reality” or my personal favorite “you’ll never get your act together because you don’t even know what your act is!”

I hate the outer voice of someone else who tries to drown me out by making those kinds of statements or judgments about me.  Sometimes they know they are doing it and sometimes they don’t.  It really doesn’t matter though because the message is the same:

  • YOU ARE NO GOOD
  • YOU ARE A FAILURE
  • YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY
  • GIVE UP NOW WHILE YOU’RE AHEAD

This message quickly turns into your inside singing voice mindset.  After that it turns into what your outside voice sounds like.

Is Your Inside Voice Actually Your Outside Voice?

I believe it is.  That is why I am here to help you.

If you choose to learn something different about your inside voice then your outside voice will change right along with how you change on the inside.

What do I mean by that.

Well, the way your voice sounds to the outside world will reflect just about everything you think about yourself on the inside.  And you can’t really fake that.  You might be able to hide it for awhile, or distract people by pretending to be something that you don’t really believe about yourself, but eventually, the truth will come slammin’ out of you.

It may come out in nervous singing or tense singing or shy singing, angry singing….you name it, whatever is truly going on with your inside voice will be your outside voice that the world hears.

3 important singing voice questions to ask yourself:

  1. What do you want for yourself and your voice?
  2. Do you want to change the way you sound?
  3. Are you willing to take action to change the way you sing?

I trust your answers are YES to all three of those questions and if I am right, I encourage you to take action now.

Change The Way You Sing By Changing Your Inside Voice

Do this now to take action:

  1. Absorb my post about your Singing Voice Mindset and immerse yourself in my true story about Nervous Singing
{ 12 comments… add one }
  • Pat April 13, 2010, 5:58 pm

    Joy, you are so much on point with this article. Thank God for the Voice Buster (that’s you). I look forward to more of your teaching. You are truly heaven sent, until next time take care.

    • Joy April 20, 2010, 9:06 am

      Pat,

      What a fun name you have given me. The Voice Buster! I like that.

      Looking forward to hearing you sing some more.

      Joy

  • marisa October 11, 2011, 1:46 pm

    I liked this article because it makes me think About the power I have With myself and my independence. Im not going to let other people choose what I do. If I want to sing I will sing.

    • Joy October 13, 2011, 5:07 pm

      Marisa,

      You are absolutely on target with your understanding of the power you have within you and singing for the sake of singing and not for what others say or think!

      Go for it!

      Joy.

  • Joy December 13, 2011, 10:39 am

    Hollie linked to this page from her blog about infant loss and healing. Singing is part of her healing process. It is truly part of all of our healing processes.

  • Dina Tatak December 1, 2014, 4:35 am

    Thanks joy

  • Del Lana December 1, 2014, 4:42 am

    I Love singing and there is a upcoming programme
    that I’m planning to participate in. But I’m scared because Im suffering from stage fear. I’m too scared from crowd. Actually its my mentality cause I can see that most of the time I can sing around with my friends that too solo. But again it happens that i start shivering in front of my single friend. I don’t know what to do. I get sick on stage. Sometimes I can’t even sing a group song along with all my mates. Its such a disgraceful situation. My lips trembles while singing. And my body turns cold. Please help me out. I trust you joy. Please

    • Joy December 10, 2014, 10:03 am

      Hi Del Lana,

      This is a common problem with lots of people. And, of course, it used to plague me too.
      What I’ve discovered over the years is really simple, and I will put it here in capital letters because I want you to think really deeply about it and take an honest look at the best of who you are. Here it is:

      I SING BECAUSE I LOVE TO SING, SO IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT MY VOICE.

      Say that out loud to yourself while looking in a mirror. Do this 3 times daily for 2 weeks.

      Now, I know that this sounds simplistic, but it truly isn’t. And since you have stated that you trust me, and I value your trust, I am going to suggest 2 other things for you to do:

        • Read a little bit about an ebook I wrote a couple of years ago that gives 100 vocal wisdom sayings for you to chew on and ponder. If you have a way to read an ebook, I am going to highly recommend this book to you as a way to begin getting over your fear of singing in front of others. Here’s the page about it: Singing Through Life With Your Mouth Closed Or you can click on the image link of the book on the sidebar of this website (if you are on a computer) or if you are using a smart phone or tablet, click on the link on that page.
        • If you don’t read ebooks or can’t afford the book, then try everything you can glean from the singing mindset articles.

      Then write back to me, ok?

      You know that I believe that You Deserve To Be Heard, so, once again, I honor your trust and will do my best to help you.

      Sing well, be well,
      Joy

  • Giuliana November 6, 2016, 8:18 am

    Thanks, this helps because I just turned 12 and I am auditioning for a school musical (mulan), I do not have stage fright but I can’t sing infront of friends, parents etc.. I hope you can see this and help me out.

  • Giuliana November 6, 2016, 8:21 am

    Hi, is me again! I just wanted to add I sign wigs. Group on stage with friends. I am totally do that, but when it comes to auditions to that play I was talking about, I know I’m gonna be a nervous wreck!! I am worried t will change my voice while I sing. Please help! My audition is on the 28 of November.

    • Giuliana November 6, 2016, 8:22 am

      Sorry about that last comment AUTO CORRECT!!! Ahh I don’t sign wigs 😂 Haha. But I really need help before my audition

      • Singing Master December 27, 2016, 7:55 am

        Hi Giuliana,

        So sorry I didn’t get back to you time. I was in the middle of a major move from August to just now.

        How are you doing with your voice? How did your audition go?

        Joy

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