A few days ago, Jo asked me a question about what to do about getting nervous when singing in front of people so I’m answering with this article about the 3 major things that can help you overcome singing fear by facing your fear in singing.
Sounds complicated and I will explain, but…
…first I have a story to tell.
Being anxious about singing is….OMG, so real, so painful, so….ok, now I am going to faint.
No, seriously, I’m going to tell you a true story about how I fainted the first time I sang for a college recital when I was taking voice lessons and learning how to sing.
I remember having HUGE anxious thoughts while I was waiting to go out on the stage.
I was petrified!
Anxious me began to sweat, hyperventilate and everything that adrenaline does to my nervous system when I’m scared.
In fact, when I finally went out onto the stage, I was so nervous that I was shaking like a car that was struggling to get started but never did and finally died.
Which is almost what I did.
Died.
Of fright.
Okay, well, I didn’t die, obviously, or you wouldn’t be reading this.
But I did faint.
Really.
I didn’t fall down, although I was sure I was going to. But I blacked out so badly that I went temporarily blind.
No kiddin’. I’ll never forget it. I could not see anything but a dark wall in front of me that shut out all light and felt like I had been buried under the ground and I could hardly breath. I felt like I was suffocating. It was horrible, and none of my teachers had taught me clearly how to face fear in singing. To be honest, I didn’t even guess that I would be so afraid. It came as a shock!
The piano was behind me and I just grabbed it and held on and kept singing, even though my knees were collapsing under me and my anxious face must have looked like it had seen my own ghost!
It was awful and I bet my singing was awful. At least I know that it was nervous singing and nervous shaking so severe that it must have sounded awful, although no one ever said so.
But I knew it.
I knew how scared I was and how badly it had affected my singing breath, which, as my teacher had told me over and over again, is the support that has to be under control in order to sing well.
So, yes, you guessed what the first of the 3 things you can do to get over nervous singing.
#1 – Improve your singing breath control
I always recommend the dog pant and the slow leaky tire as 2 singing breathing exercises that you can do before you go out in front of people. Better yet, do them daily and you will have better muscle control when the panic attack starts.
#2 – You have to change your mindset
Your mindset has to do with getting rid of anxious thoughts about your life, about what people will think, about how you will sound and simply listen to the music inside of you.
What you believe about yourself will cause you to panic or pull it together and that all starts way before you get up to sing. It starts with a silent place inside of you, that place that makes you want to sing. Remember that singing is natural. The thing that happens that is unnatural is how we let everyone else’s opinion mess us up inside.
Think about what it was like to sing when you were a child, before anyone ever said anything unkind to you about your singing. Did you care what anyone thought? No, of course not. You only cared after someone messed with your head. So now you have to undo that junk and get the right kind of singing mindset inside of you.
#3 – Focus becomes your best friend
Focus is partially a combination of #1 & #2.
For instance, the slow leaky tire directions tell you to pick a point out in front of you and send your breath to that point. You can’t be distracted and do that activity well, but if you stay focused on the point, you will start to feel how the diaphragm works to control the stream of air that you sing “on.”
So, when you sing, don’t think about what everyone else is thinking. Think about your singing breath, think about relaxing your shoulders, focus on a “tunnel” in front of you to send your breath through, focus on how singing makes you feel good, how much you enjoy singing, how you LOVE singing.
Forget about everything else and just focus on singing!
BONUS – All 3 happen while Stepping in Place
Okay, so this is something I came up with because where I live it is hard to get out during the winter and I don’t like going to a gym but know that I need to exercise to stay healthy and sing well.
So, I started stepping or running in place in the mornings. I actually do 1,200 steps in place or around the inside of the house. During 200 of those steps, I swing my arms above me like in a “jumping jack” and then for the final 100 steps I focus straight ahead of like a laser beam and go as fast as I can, sort of like you would imagine a Marine might do, although I have never been in the military myself.
Which gets to my final point, something my best voice teacher taught me.
She used to say that if you want to sing well you have to be like an athlete and if you think about those 3 things above, plus the Bonus, you’ll see that it is the sort of thing that athletes learn to do.
#1 – Breathe Deeply
#2 – Change your Mindset
#3 – Focus on a Point in Front of You
Bonus – Run or Step in Place
That’s all for now so now go do the dog pant and the slow leaky tire, then run or step in place until you are panting then do the dog pant and slow leaky tire again….and again…and….well….you know what I mean.
Thanks Joy
I identify so much with the ‘mindset’ – I have always had a very low opinion of my abilities and still compare myself to others. I always think they are so much better than me and I am rubbish. Definately I need to challenge my demons as I love to sing – it keeps me sane!!
JO
x
Jo,
You inspire me and I am so glad I can help you to not only challenge but get rid of those demons you mentioned. Yay for singing and sanity! I know exactly what you mean.
If you haven’t already read my Singing Voice Mindset article, I encourage you to do it right away!
Enjoy!
Joy
Thanks Joy
I am still fighting the demons – I try hard to keep them away. I do seem to have a large physical nervous reaction that makes it very hard to sing as well as I know I can.
Tight throat, shaking voice and legs!! Not good.
But I do love to sing so I will continue to practice and read what I can to help.
Deep inside the feeling comes that I just need to sing!
Jo
Jo,
I truly understand that feeling, but I want to encourage you that there are things that you can do to conquer it. I’ll be writing more about that in future posts, but meanwhile, have you used my “slow leaky tire” exercise? It is a great one for calming yourself down before you get up in front of people to sing. If you have any questions about it, I’d be happy to answer them.
That feeling, deep inside, that you need to sing? That’s the one to pay all your attention to. Getting over nervous singing takes a mindset change. Again, more about that in future posts.
Keep your pretty chin up!
Joy
What a great resource!
Thanks! What do you like most about it?
Ok. I need some help here. I’m a sixteen year old singer. I have been singing since I was 8 and I can sing around my family and close friends. But when it’s in front of someday I don’t know, I start shaking bad, even if i take deep breaths before singing, my legs just shake and I I just freeze up but still sing but it’s like that I shake so much that I can’t move
I really need to get over it and have no clue how to. Please some advice. Thank you
Jay-
Hi Jay,
The good thing is that you are 16 and you are dealing with this early in life! Kudos to you!
I agree that you really need to get over it, so I want to start you out by going to two articles on the site:
Joy Starts Your Singing
Inside Voice Outside Voice
After you explore those two articles and the links on them, get back to me.
I am here to help you so the more questions you ask, especially under each of the articles, just like you did here, the more I can help you.
I appreciate your question a lot because it is something we all deal with in a big way.
Your honesty is the thing that will help you the most, so keep asking questions!
Thanks again,
Joy
I need Help
im a 13 year old girl i can sing be my self but not infront of any one and i have asbergers which doubles the pressure and i haveto sing infront of my whole school on thursday morning and today 2nd period please help
Hi Heather,
Thanks for writing to me.
The most important thing to do before you sing is take deep breaths and slowly slowly slowly let the air out. Do this several times and it will help to calm you.
Also, there are a couple of other articles that might help you too.
Let me know how it goes,
Joy
Thank you so much! This really helps.
Hi Abby,
I apologize for taking SO long to respond to your comment. I was in the middle of a medical emergency and things got put on hold for awhile.
But all is well now.
I’d love to know how the article specifically helped you.
Always sing!
Joy
Singing is my passion, I love it but get I so nervous…. I sing karaoke at random places to try to get more comfortable singing in front of people but it doesn’t help much. I found this article while searching how to get over my nerves because I have an audition coming up. My hopes are high that it will help especially after reading the story of your actual experiences (it is quite similar to what I go through). Thank you for posting such great advice!
Meghan,
I am so happy that the article helped you.
What kind of audition and when is it?
And how can I better help you with preparing for it?
Joy
I am auditioning for NBC’s The Voice. I auditioned in April and I didn’t make it because I got so nervous I didn’t do as well as I could have but I’m not giving up. I’m auditioning again in August. I read your other articles and I’ve been practicing the breathing techniques… I already knew how important my breathing was but I couldn’t. Figure out how to not lose my breath when I got nervous. I just have to get over being in front of new people when I sing.
Meghan,
The GREAT thing that you are doing is working on getting your singing voice where you want it to be.
Keep working on the breathing. It’s the key to everything when you couple it with the singing mindsets.
If I can be of any help to you, please fire away with questions. That’s why I’m here!
Joy
I’ve been to karaoke twice this week, so far the breathing has helped a bit. I’m not completely confident yet but it makes singing in front of people much easier. I am less shakey when I breathe like the slow leaky tire before I go up than if I don’t. Without the breathing my shaking is ridiculously obvious and I can’t control it no matter how hard I try to.
Meghan,
So happy to hear that the Slow Leaky Tire is helping you.
Now when you go up in front of people, imagine your voice being inside that slow leaky tire and going out above all their heads.
Focus on a point on that back of the wall and sing into it.
Let me know how it goes next time.
Joy
Hi there, I discovered your site via Google even though looking for a related subject, your website came up, it looks wonderful. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
i have to sing in front of my class and i am terrified ahhhhhh what should i do
Deep SLOW breathing is the best thing you can do to prepare. That and creating a mental picture of yourself in front of your class totally fearless and free with your voice. What kind of class is it?
This article was very helpful! I am just getting back into the performing world of singing. The last time I sang in front of people, my leg began to shake! When this happened you could hear my voice tremble a little during the recording. How to I control this??? I have another performance coming up on March 20th that I need to NAIL. Please help! Thanks!
Hi Jackie,
Thanks for writing and asking for help. I sure know the feeling you describe.
In answer to your question—How do I control this?”—the first thing to do is calm your mind about the root causes of your nervousness.
Do this by focusing on something entirely different.
Nervousness and shaking happen because consciously and subconsciously we focus—without realizing it—on the fear that has gripped us. And I must tell you truly that this is where most of the root causes for nervous singing are found: in your thought process about your voice and self and what others may think.
In my digital book, Singing Through Life With Your Mouth Closed, I have a number of thoughts that help with this sense of fear that hits us all.
Let me know if what I have given you to think about helps you begin to focus on something other than the fear, then we can talk again.
Thanks for your trust,
Joy
Joy-
I am 12 years old and have been singing since I was seven. I am a guy and I have always sung in my head voice, even now when my voice is deeper than my dad’s. My aunt is a singer and I am going over to her house tomorrow and we are singing a few Fleetwood Mac, but I haven’t sung in front of her since I started singing. I recently sent a sound recording with my cell and she said that I had a nice vibration and that she loved my tone, but I have some fright in singing with her. I’m in choir at school but that’s a little different.. could you help me?
Kennan,
Sorry I didn’t see your post until today. How did your singing time go with your aunt?
Joy
Joy, what a wonderful article.
You have hit the 3 elements of Natural Learning that I facilitate…
In order to learn to overcome the fear of singing in front of others, you can:
*Immerse yourself in a complex experience (being on-stage/singing in front of others – even one person to start), while you
*Practice the tools for creating a Relaxed Alert environment – This includes the inner environment but also the outer, which we can’t always control. The tools can include everything in your article – breathing, focusing, creating the right mindset/mindstate – using tools to calm the whole living system and open the way for it to flourish.
*Actively process the experience (notice what is coming up, especially the questions, working with them, processing the experience with others, processing the experience with Joy Sikorski, making decisions…).
I have worked for years on over-coming stage fright and it is SUCH A BREAKTHROUGH and JOY to finally be able share (almost) my whole self on-stage (most of the time).
Be well my dear,
Andrea
Andrea,
Thanks for sharing the specifics of the 3 elements of Natural Learning that you mentioned!
It makes me happy to know that you have had such a great breakthrough with your stage essence and beliefs about yourself, your voice and the important sense of beauty that you bring to world when you fully relax and share your lovely voice with us all.
Looking forward to seeing you soon…
Joy